SatireV

Breaking

and entering

squirrel

A Near History of the Squirrel's Republic of Harvard Yard

Cautious squirrel, flashbacks of Republic

By: The Squirelissimo

March 15

The tall ones are leaving. Why? They do not usually migrate until the hot times. Until after the weekend where the whole world is covered by chairs and full of annoying parents and they all get pieces of paper that allow them to become consultants. Why now do they leave?

March 20

Harvard Students Lost to Raiders While Crossing Science Center Plaza

Seven Harvard students, along with their local interpreter and guide, have been lost to marauders in an attempted crossing of the Science Center Plaza. The Plaza, a 500 mile long post-apocalyptic wasteland, created during the most recent nuclear conflict between Harvard University and Tufts, has become home to tribes of wandering nomads, each doing their best to stay alive in the irradiated hellhole. Faced with the harsh realities of the no-man’s-land, many of these groups are resorting to violence to meet their needs.