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What’s the Point of Having a Sun If It’s Just Gonna Fucking Set at 4pm?

Let me paint you a picture. I’m going for my bi-monthly afternoon jog when suddenly, it’s pitch black. I’m disoriented, and I accidentally run off the road into a rose bush. I’m stuck there for three hours. All because the sun decided it was "cool" to set before dinnertime. Why the fuck do we even have a sun if it’s just gonna drop like a sack of potatoes at 4pm?

Sun Wishes Humanity Would Shut the Fuck Up About Global Warming, Just Enjoy Warmer Weather

THE SKY -- After a 50-degree day followed a chlling weekend of below-zero temperatures, the Sun let off some steam and complained about Earth residents' whining.

“Frankly, it’s getting a little tiresome,” said the Sun, referring to mankind’s newfound tendency to glance nervously at the sky and make a lame joke about the perks of global warming instead of just enjoying the warmer day. In an exclusive interview with Satire V today, the bright center of the Solar System was visibly upset that no one was appreciating the warmer weather he had worked so hard on.