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Point/Counterpoint: Marijuana Should Not vs. Should Be Legalized

Point: Marijuana Should Not Be legalized 
By Jeff Sessions

There is a growing epidemic in this great nation. Several states have legalized recreational marijuana. This is a grave mistake. Wherever drugs go, crime follows. Soon you’ll see violence rise across the nation as a result of this deadly drug.  

An Invitation from the Dean of Freshmen

Brownies

Dear Members of the Class of 2020:

Having had a chance to talk to a number of you over the past week, it's clear that the election has occupied your hearts and minds. My mind, on the other hand, has been occupied by the ounce of Sour Diesel that I ordered two weeks ago in preparation for Question 4’s inevitable success.  Whatever your political position in this very polarizing time, I think it is important to stop and reflect, and if we join together in some “puff-puff-pass”, we can contribute to our country's healing. 

Dean Dingman Hands Out Wrong Batch of Brownies to Striking Workers

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Though Local 26 and the Harvard Management Corporation have yet to negotiate a new contract, the first few days of the HUDS strike have not been without their share of drama. A low point was reached at lunchtime today, as Harvard Dean of Freshman Thomas A. "Tommy D" Dingman '67 accidentally distributed the wrong batch of homemade brownies to striking HUDS workers.
 
"Aww fuck, dude," the self-proclaimed Dean of Phresh was heard exclaiming as he saw protesters asking each other if they've ever "looked at swai, like, really looked at it."

I'm Not Trying to Replace Your Dean Lassonde, I Just Love Your OSL

Hey there, champ!