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Science Center Bathroom Declared As Harvard’s Second Most-Popular Tourist Destination

Cambridge, MA – In its annual report, the Harvard Admissions Office announced that the Science Center bathroom has officially become the second most popular tourist destination at Harvard, citing “high demand” and “visible relief” as top reasons for the shift in rankings.

New Cambridge Parking Regulation Just Fuck Off

CAMBRIDGE, MA-- The City of Cambridge instituted a new parking regulation on Monday. The Cambridge City Council voted to replace the complicated rules that have governed street parking with signs that simply read, "Fuck Off."
 
"We thought this was a more effective means of communicating the key parking rules to Cambridge residents, commuters, and tourists," said Cambridge Mayor David Maher. "It really just captures the sentiment."
 

Traveling Harvard Students Excited to Return, Complain About Asian Tourists

CAMBRIDGE, MA - As September quickly approaches, many Harvard students are beginning to return from their summers abroad and eagerly anticipate complaining about Cambridge’s tourists.

“Oh my God, they are everywhere,” nagged Dunster Sophomore Trisha Lott, whose Facebook sports a profile picture of a mid-air jump in front of Madrid’s Palacio Real. “I’m just trying to walk to class without having to slightly divert my path.”