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Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters Debuts “Emotionally Distant Father Jeans”

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Citing the popularity of "mom jeans" and "boyfriend jeans," clothing stores around the country will soon begin selling "emotionally distant father jeans." The new style is one of several available for women who can't seem to wear their own fucking denim.

Previewed at select Urban Outfitters locations this month, the "emotionally distant father" jeans are stiff and utilitarian, with a raw underside. Their tough exterior is supposedly immune to stains, bad weather, and pleas to come to your middle school piano recital because they “didn't attend last year.”