Following months of speculation and way too much Prada trafficking through the state, Arkansas released a press statement confirming its homosexuality. Says Governor Mike Beebe, “I mean, come on. Everybody knows that the biggest bully is actually the biggest victim.”

 

Arkansas, known for its strident homophobia—exhibited on billboards denouncing marriage between members of the same sex by saying “No to gay, all day,” says it has just been covering up for a great shame to its evangelical pride.
The state is the latest in a slew of gay political firsts. Houston recently elected its first openly gay mayor, four states have measures on the ballot to either sanctify or ban gay marriage, and even the President confirmed his support for same-sex marriage. This left critics wondering: with LGBT issues being so big in the news, which state will come out first? Pundits eyed probably bi-curious Oregon, definitely lesbian Connecticut, and the redundantly gay Hawaii as potential candidates. “But Arkansas was always the dark horse in the race,” commented Sven Svenson, political director at LGBTResearch in San Francisco.

 

But members of the media are still wondering just why Arkansas made its announcement so suddenly. Analysts at the capitol in Little Rock gathered from various state officials that instead of having to take the time to go through the legislative process to legalize gay rights, it was easier just to go the distance and do it all at once.
And just what does this all mean for Arkansas? “Mostly lots of gifts, and trying to find an accommodating club scene,” said Svenson. Whatever the case may be, Arkansas is undeniably a happier place.