BROOKLYN, NY-- Hillary Clinton, former Secretary of State and current candidate for the 2016 Democratic nomination for President, announced today that she would dress up as "Destiny" for Halloween this year.

 

"Guess. Guess what I am," demanded Clinton at a press conference on Friday. 

 

"Um, are you President of the United States?" asked NBC reporter Howard Timmons.

 

"No," responded Clinton. "Come now. Be more precise."

 

"Are you an experienced former top diplomat?" asked ABC reporter Sandy Evans.

 

"NO!" shouted Clinton. "I am destiny. This is destiny. It always has been, and it always will be. Every day I wear the habits of fate, and today is no different."

 

Clinton then began to list reasons why the inexorable path of history had selected her to be president. "Reason number 153," said Clinton. "January 20, 2017 has always been my favorite day. Doesn't that sound like a lovely day to be inaugurated into the highest office on Planet Earth? Perhaps the highest office in the known universe."

 

Four hours later, Clinton thanked the press and left for a campaign rally. 

 

A representative from the Clinton campaign declined to comment on what she would be doing for Thanksgiving.