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In Latest Gaffe, Romney Knifes Homeless Man

Romney assures voters he does not find violence against the homeless amusing.

CHARLOTTE, NC – In the latest of a series of recent campaign gaffes, Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney stabbed and killed a homeless man at a fundraiser dinner in North Carolina on Wednesday. The victim, 57-year-old Roy Smith, was reportedly ushered onstage by Romney campaign aides before being stabbed 7 times by the presidential candidate. Romney criticized what he called President Obama’s “irresponsible” and “lazy” supporters as he twisted the 4-inch switchblade in Smith’s stomach. Smith died on stage before the ambulance arrived.

The incident follows a rough several weeks for the Romney campaign, recovering from Romney’s “47 percent” remarks, Paul Ryan’s performance at the AARP, and more. Pollsters have already begun to speculate as to how the incident will affect poll numbers.
“This is really going to show in the polls next week,” said Rasmussen Reports spokeswoman Judy Friedman. “It shows how truly out of touch [Romney] is with a huge chunk of voters.” Added Friedman, “This’ll especially hurt Romney in key swing states, despite a lift from his debate performance. Most independents in Florida and Ohio really dislike homicide.”

The Obama Campaign was quick to attack Romney for his actions. At a rally in Boulder, Colorado today, President Obama addressed the issue to a crowd of nearly 400. “4 years ago, 47 percent of Americans voted for John McCain,” said Obama. “But I didn’t knife a single one of them.”

Obama campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki called Romney’s actions “irresponsible,” “distasteful,” and “completely illegal and truly abominable.” The Romney campaign has yet to comment, but is expected to address the issue at a press conference on Friday.

Added Vice President Joe Biden in a tweet, “Fuck this guy, right?”

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