Following yesterday’s hearing about Planned Parenthood at the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, many Republican members of Congress expressed uncertainty about the meaning of the word “mammogram,” which was used multiple times during the hearing.

“I’ve never heard that word before,” said Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ). “But everyone kept saying it over and over again. It was driving me crazy. Mammogram, mammogram, mammogram!”

“It’s a unit of measurement,” said Rep. John J. Duncan, Jr. (R-TN), adding that since the United States did not use the metric system, many people were unfamiliar with its units for measuring mass, such as grams, micrograms, and mammograms.

In other interviews after the hearing, other congressmen provided alternative definitions.

“I believe it’s the name of a prehistoric mammal—a slightly smaller, fatter cousin of the woolly mammoth,” noted Rep. Mick Mulvaney (R-SC). “I remember learning about it in grade school. Before the settlers came to the New World, you had many tribes of natives hunting and herding all these herds of mammograms.”

“Clearly, Planned Parenthood should not be in the business of mammograms,” he concluded, returning to the subject of the hearing.

At press time, Rep. Duncan was holding a cup of soda in a Capitol Hill restaurant, repeatedly asking the waitress, “I said, how many mammograms of sugar are in this Coke?”

Image source: United States Congress/Wikimedia