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Scaramucci accused of killing his brother, Mufasamucci

The moment of the crime (artist's rendition)
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After a week of bizarre antics from Scaramucci, yet another gobstopping fact may have just been revealed about the (former) White House Communications Director: a few months ago, he allegedly murdered his brother Mufasamucci by letting go of his arm and letting him fall into a pack of rampaging hyenamuccis.
 
Mufasamucci had worried for years that his brother might be plotting something. “Mufasamucci is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic - a paranoiac,” said Scaramucci regarding his brother's worries. “I’m not going to get into the mud on those sorts of things.”
 
Scaramucci has now started denying that he and Mufasamucci were even brothers to begin with. “When I said Mufasamucci and I were brothers, that’s because we’re -- some brothers are like Cain and Abel,” said Scaramucci. Notably, Cain murders Abel.
 
Scaramucci is reportedly trying to cock-block the trial, the same way Pumbaamucci cock-blocked him for six months.

 

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