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Sorry for the Ambiguity: ‘EASY D’ Means Penis

What I meant here wasn't ambiguous. FAKE NEWS media lied like LYIN' TED. Sad!

Yesterday, as I often do, I Tweeted one of my tremendous ideas. And I have noticed that many in the liberal FAKE NEWS media are misconstruing my Tweet as something I never intended. The FAKE NEWS media tries to undermine my true messages every single day, so I've decided to undercut them and talk to you directly.

I would like to clear this up once and for all: when I Tweeted that Americans were desperate for "EASY D," I was talking about penises. 

Many Americans, including myself, are feeling "vulnerable" in their endless pursuit of the EASY D. While I believe strongly in controlling our borders, my Tweet yesterday clearly states my true opinion: more than any of this bullshit with keeping Muslims out, I just want to catch some EASY D. And I know Americans feel the same way, because I know these things.

The truth is, the D has just been too difficult to acquire recently. I used to be able to go to up strangers and just grab them by the D. When you're a star, they let you do anything! And by anything, I mean touch other men’s penises. In a sexual manner. It’s great!

Unfortunately, because of all of the negative press I've been getting since becoming President, D has been harder and harder for me to come by. Not easy at all! So now I understand the struggle of everyday Americans even better than before: truly we are a vulnerable people. Vulnerable for the EASY D, by which I mean penis. Once again, just want to be totally clear about this.

So, if any of you come across some EASY D, please let me know before Mike Pence finds out about this piece. God knows how much more difficult it is to get the EASY D when he's around. Sad!


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