TRENTON, NJ -- New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (R-Otund) held an emergency press conference late Tuesday night regarding Donald Trump Jr.'s comments equating refugees to Skittles. 

"You think some puny rainbow M&M knockoff candies could bring me down? Yeah, sure, buddy, and like I'm not the vice presidential nominee," Christie screamed from his podium.

NEW YORK, NY--Earlier this week, Donald Trump fired his champagne manager, Jean-Baptiste Aubigné, in a strategic move after months of what many considered to be questionable champagne-related decisions. It is believed that this change may lead to a broader change of the champagne's tone and presentation moving forward.

NEW HAVEN, CT -- After the Yale College Republicans endorsed GOP nominee Donald Trump for President today, Satire V obtained an exclusive list of other things the Yale Republicans endorse. Here is just a small sample from that list:

• Shoes without bootstraps
• People who show up to black tie affairs in business suits
• Off brand water crackers
• Foreign cheeses
• The field of gender studies
• Gender
• Chancellor Palpatine

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Walk around any college campus and Marxism’s popularity is immediately apparent. Depending on the climate, you’re likely to see Marx T-shirts or Marx sweaters or Marx hats or Marx scarves.

You’re less likely to encounter Mikhail Bakunin memorabilia. In a setting where students are meant to be agitating for a dictatorship of the proletariat, supporting the nineteenth-century Russian anarchist and factional leader of the International Workingmen’s Association just isn’t cool.

WASHINGTON, DC -- Late last month, GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz joined forces with ex-presidential candidate Carly Fiorina. After making this bold declaration, the senator confidently told voters at an Indianapolis rally that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton should  "prepare for trouble."

"And make it double," added Fiorina, hoisting herself back onto the stage after taking a nasty tumble.