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Visitas Hosts Practice Lying in Mirror

Cambridge, MA—Citing encouragement from the college at large, many hosts of the newly admitted class of 2021 have started preparations for the baldfaced lying they will do during the course of the weekend. “Every year on campus we try to look for the most competent and welcoming hosts for our new students,” said Director of Visitas Tim Smith, ’08 in an interview, “and one of the most essential skills a Visitas host can have is to be able to shamelessly lie about student life at Harvard”.

Harvard Community Gathers To Collectively Lie To Prefrosh About Student Life

STUDENT ORGANIZATION CENTER AT HILLES -- Harvard's student body came together in a rare moment of unity in the SOCH today to lie to prefrosh about student life during Visitas accepted students weekend.

“Wow, we have so many things to do on the weekend!” discreetly shouted Elliot L. Morris ’17, member of a campus publication, as high school students emerged from the Harvard Square T stop and stepped out of taxis in Harvard Square. “I feel so welcome here, and I like every person so much!” He added that he and his friends had finally learned to smile.

Harvard EMTs Pumped For Visitas

CAMBRIDGE, MA–Speaking after a recent meeting, local EMTs were thrilled that Visitas was less than a week away.

“Being an EMT is very rewarding, but sometimes it can get pretty dull,” explained Jenny Roberts, who has worked as a first-responder in the Harvard area for the last six years. “When we’re not responding to a call, we just sit in the back of the ambulance playing Settlers of Catan, so it’s always nice when we have a big event like Visitas that we know will give us something to do.”

Prefrosh Goes to the SOCH, Chooses Yale

CAMBRIDGE, MA - After attending this year's Visitas Activities Fair at the Student Organization Center at Hilles (SOCH), several prospective students announced that they had chosen to attend Yale in the fall. 
 

Prefrosh Actually Deciding Between Harvard and Colleges That Are Not Harvard

CAMBRIDGE, MA - Preston Conway, prospective member of Harvard’s Class of 2019, rocked the Visitas community earlier this morning with the announcement that he was actually, sincerely considering going to seven of the other ten colleges he’d been accepted to.