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Hasty Pudding Diversifies Production with First-Ever Animal Cast Members

A tiger in Farkas Hall.

CAMBRIDGE, MA – On Saturday, the executive board members of the Hasty Pudding Theatricals officially announced their decision to allow animals to audition for this year’s production of “Noah’s (F)Ark(as).”

Fox Grad Board to Recognize Females as 3/5ths of Member

Fox club graphic

CAMBRIDGE, MA - After months of long, drawn-out debate, the Fox Graduate Board announced today that they would be willing to provisionally recognize female members. In a landmark statement issued to SatireV, the president of the graduate board Philip P. Pondswater III announced that following months of deliberation on integration, the Fox would recognize female members as three fifths of a member. 

Hasty Pudding Grad Board Considers Meeting with Fathers of Harvard Women to Arrange Casting

Cambridge, MA – Last Sunday, 14 female students signed up to audition for the Hasty Pudding Theatricals, an annual burlesque drag musical, in protest of the all-male cast. 

“We hear the protests and realize that times are changing. The Hasty Pudding is proud to respond to these calls by meeting with the fathers of the auditioning women,” said Andrew Marble, a leader of the grad board. 

Kirkland House: We Respect Our Meat—I Mean, Women

CAMBRIDGE, MA— Upon releasing its Housing Day video album, Kirkland House has been met with a fair number of accusations of sexism, among many things; however, Kirkland House would like to reaffirm its support for women.

“They came to me with an idea to represent our house in a fun and lighthearted way. When they told me we were going to shoot a video of several faceless, half-naked, human-boar hybrid women gyrating around a room and assuming various sexual positions, I told them, ‘Wow, I think you’re on to something!’,” said Kirkland House in an interview.

In India, Women Finally Afforded Same Social Status as Cows

After incidents of harassment, brutal sexual assault and victim-blaming left Indians worrying about the status and safety of women in their country, there now appears to be a glimmer of hope on the horizon.