BOSTON – Following Tuesday night’s World Series victory for Mookie Betts, the Boston Red Sox are 1/25th of the way to their goal of having each player from their 2019 opening day roster win it all. “The easiest way would have obviously been to just win last year,” said CEO Sam Kennedy, “but after that didn’t work out we decided to take it one-by-one, starting with Mookie.”

FENWAY PARK -- After extensive research on the subject, mathematicians at Northeastern University have determined that the World Series in fact converges to Boston if summed to infinity.

“Much like the geometric series of 1/(2^n) or the near-infinite series of ‘Dunkin stores in Boston,’ after solving for the World Series, we found it converges on Boston nearly every time,” explained head researcher Robert McOwen.

PORTLAND, OR — Tyler Phillips, a 27-year-old dude who ate deep-dish pizza once, took to Facebook on Saturday to tell his friends how “deeply, truly, unbelievably proud I am of my Cubbies.” He added, “They are not just my Cubbies. They are our Cubbies. They are Chicago’s Cubbies. They are America’s Cubbies.”