SatireV

Breaking

and entering

‘Last King of Scotland’ Returns to be Actual King of Scotland

Credit: http://inmorrwetrust.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/forrest-whitaker.jpg

Secret intelligence has come out that Forest Whitaker, who played Ugandan dictator Idi Amin in Kevin MacDonald’s “The Last King of Scotland” is now ready to be the actual king of Scotland. The film highlights Idi Amin’s somewhat incredibly weird liking of Scottish royalty and rebellion.

Coworkers said that while on set, Forest Whitaker completely misunderstood the plot of the movie and thought that it was actually set in Scotland. “With a little vodka we managed to convince him to just say the lines we had told him, which had no reference to Scotland at all,” director Kevin MacDonald reported. “I literally have no idea where he got the idea that this had anything to do with Scotland from.”

Nevertheless, Whitaker took an apparent immediate liking to kilts and began sporting them around set, speaking in what he believed to be a Scottish accent, and dancing in his own private Highland Games, which involved him taking a corner of the set for himself while everyone else watched in horror. “It was a… bizarre transformation,”actual Scot and Whitaker’s co-star James McAvoy said. “He wouldn’t stop kissing me and asking for my haggis. He had these strange notions of what it meant that he was king, and how proud he was to rule. I guess we never mentioned it, because after the movie he seemed fine.”

Apparently not fine, Whitaker has hoisted the Scottish flag and coat of arms at his home, according to Whitaker’s neighbors. Just what exactly Whitaker plans on doing once he reaches Scotland remains to be seen. “I will be king, just as it is written, just as it was, and just as it shall be. For Scotland and the lass.” When asked what he meant, Whitaker replied, “God be with the Hebrides.”

 

*It remains unclear if Mr. Whitaker is quoting anything Scottish, or…?

© 2014
Category: