SatireV

Breaking News

Your blocking group

yardfest

The Yardfest headliner should NOT have been Tiesto. It should have been Elvis Presley.

by I. N. Sufferablé

Look. I understand the CEB was under pressure this year. It seems like they couldn’t find a decent headliner for Yardfest for way way too long, and now they’ve just picked the nearest mega-successful artist who was available. I get it. I’ve handed in my fair share of late assignments. I know what it’s like to be pressed for time and do something subpar. But let’s be frank. The Yardfest headliner should not have been Tiesto. It should have been Elvis Presley.

I Guess I'm Just Somebody Yardfest Will Never Know

By Gotye
 
It has come to my attention that once again the Harvard College Events Board has passed over me, Belgian-Australian multi-instrumentalist singer-songwriter Gotye, for Yardfest headliner. 
 
Now and then I think about when I was on top of the charts. "Somebody That I Used to Know" was an 11x Platinum record in Australia! My music was blaring through radios across continents. I felt so happy I could die!
 

CEB Announces 'Who' Will Headline Yardfest

CAMBRIDGE, MA – After months of student demands to the Harvard College Events Board, “The Who” will headline this year’s Yardfest, according to an official announcement made by the CEB Monday evening. 

CEB Books Area Chainsmoker for Yardfest

CAMBRIDGE, MA - In a surprising announcement Sunday, the Harvard College Events Board revealed that they have booked local chainsmoker Jerry R. Fleming ‘17 to perform at this years Yardfest.

This announcement comes after a wave of student dispute surrounding supposed potential picks Carly Rae Jepsen and the Chainsmokers. “We kind of just heard people saying they really wanted chainsmokers, but we only had a few bucks to book someone. So, I called my friend Jerry up from the Advocate and asked him if he’d be down to perform,” said CEB co-chair Andrew Sutton.

Student Groups React on the Eve of Tyga's Performance

Satire V: How does your organization feel about Tyga performing at Yardfest tomorrow?

Harvard Basketball Team: Tyga's coming?? Aww, sick man! I love that dude's cereal! I used to have it like every day before practice in high school. Yo! Tell Tony I say hi!

Aaron Carter and Smash Mouth to Headline Star-Studded Yardfest This Spring

In response to the growing dissatisfaction with recent Yardfests, the College Events Board announced this past week that pre-teen pop sensation Aaron Carter and notorious pop-punk quintet Smash Mouth will headline what promises to be an unprecedented Yardfest, featuring the likes of Vanilla Ice, Baha Men, Nickelback and Rebecca Black.