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I Am Excited to Announce

Here I am, excitedly making an announcement that I am excited to announce.

I am excited to announce how humbled I am to be making this announcement. The announcement that I am excited to announce has been a long time in the making, and I am so excited to finally be able to announce it. It is announcements like this one that make me so excited to make announcements.

As I excitedly make this announcement, I am overwhelmed by a feeling of humility—I can literally sense my ego shrinking as I write this Facebook post. Nothing makes me feel as humbled as an announcement that I am excited to announce and a vague reference to God that makes it seem like I am not the narcissistic, self-important piece of shit that I am. On that note, I would like to thank God for leading me to this announcement that I am excited to announce. I may be the one excitedly making this announcement, but God is the one who blessed me with the vocabulary with which to say "I am excited to announce." I also want to thank my friends, my family, and my teachers so that I can pretend that I have spent a single second of my college career thinking about anyone other than myself. Without all the wonderful people in my life, nobody would like this announcement that I am excited to announce. This sucker better crack 250 likes.

But what does it mean to be excited to announce? Excited comes from the French exciter, which means to call forth. Announce comes from the Latin annuntiare, which means to declare. I am excited to announce that I am calling forth a declaration. I am excited to announce that I am declaring that which I am calling forth. I am declaring that I am excited to announce. I am calling forth my own excitement. I am announcing an announcement.

TL;DR: Y'all can suck it because I got an internship at Goldman Sachs.

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