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The Future President Probably Has a Finsta Right Now, Historians Declare

girl on phone
The future president posts on her finsta.

After an annual conference in Chicago this week, a panel of presidential historians declared that the future President of the United States probably has a finsta right now.

"We ran some tests, analyzed some focus groups, and crunched some numbers," explained Princeton professor Alfred Q. Ellington, "and we concluded that there is a very good chance that the 50th president is currently posting photos of a sunset on her rinsta and is divulging her real feelings about that bitch Stacey on her finsta."

The individual who will one day mend the divide between Israel and Palestine just uploaded an unflattering low-angle selfie and gave it the caption "you guys have NO idea how done I am with carson ugh wtf." The eventual leader of the free world is now writing "omg I can't" followed by the crying-laughing emoji on her friend's finsta, though she is not clarifying what exactly it is that she cannot do. 

Stanford professor Patricia R. Edwards added, "I would put my money on its_britney_bitch, a 15-year-old from Baltimore, for the 2044 presidential election. But I think that 18-year-old thots_andprayers from Houston could be a strong come-from-behind candidate."

its_britney_bitch showed strong command of foreign diplomacy when she posted receipts of her conversations with a cute Britich exchange boy. thots_andprayers seemed equipped to handle the two-party system when she posted drunk photos from two sorority parties in one night. In all of the photos, she is sloppily making out with somebody else's date.

At press time, the historians were reconvening to announce that the person who will serve as that president's Attorney General just lost his 375-day Snapstreak.

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