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Tables Turn on Fifth Graders with New Game Show “We Bet You’re Not as Smart as an Adult, You Smug Little Asshole”

5th grade
Who's laughing now, kid?

LOS ANGELES, CA — This past Wednesday, Fox announced the launch of a new game show, We Bet You're Not as Smart as an Adult, You Smug Little Asshole.

The show is a spin-off of the popular game show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?, in which adults are quizzed with questions from a fifth grade textbook. The new show puts the fifth graders in the hot seat.

In each episode, 10 fifth graders—who are cut off from parental support and placed into high-stress, low-wage jobs—must navigate huge medical bills, jilted lovers, and existential dread over the passage of time. The first fifth grader to pay all of his or her taxes without committing tax evasion wins.

“I got tired of seeing those prepubescent shits thinking they’re all that just because they know a couple facts about the goddamn rain forest,” said Mark Burnett, producer of both shows. “You might know a thing or two about the pilgrims, but how about you navigate a mortgage and a divorce, asshat.”

“Oh, I love it,” said Bill Hendricks, an adult contestant on the previous show. “I remember these kids laughing when I didn’t know where Nebraska was. Now they’re working 16 hours a day harvesting corn in Nebraska. Who's laughing now?”

Upcoming spin-offs include The Price is None of Your Goddamn Business and Let’s Make a Deal: Shut the Fuck up for the Rest of the Car Ride and I’ll Continue to Pay for Your Education.

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