SatireV

Breaking News

Bad

Modern-Day Mother Teresa Brings More Wine Than She Plans to Drink to BYOB

A modern-day Mother Teresa
A Mother Teresa for our times, Driscoll even turned some water into cocktails.
LOS GATOS, CA – In a display of human kindness that was inspiring to all who looked on it, area woman and modern-day Mother Teresa Sharon Driscoll brought more alcohol than she personally planned on drinking to a friend's BYOB party.
 
"Drink up, guys!" the paragon of decency and charity announced as she set down a bottle of Chardonnay and a six pack of Woodchuck cider on a table. "There's plenty to go around!"
 
Those who observed these enlightened deeds were bewildered by benevolence on display, as eyewitnesses marveled that it was "pretty chill" of Driscoll to bring so much more than she herself needed, "especially since this is pretty good wine." Others, ashamed of their own venality, have sought to repair the world by offering to Venmo five bucks to Driscoll, or at the very least to help chip in for pizza.
 
"I do whatever I can to help the needy," said the contemporary Saint Sharon of Calcutta. "And by the needy I mean my wino friends!"
 
Driscoll's dedication to her fellow man only increased in subsequent hours, as she offered to cover the entire cost of a shared Uber ride.
© 2017
Category: