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I'm Not Trying to Replace Your Dean Lassonde, I Just Love Your OSL

I might not be your original Dean of Students, but you have to give me a chance.
Hey there, champ!
 
Now, I'm sure you've been wondering, "Why is this new lady spending so much time with my Office of Student Life?" And I'm sure it's been tough with your Dean Lassonde spending so much time out of town working for CUNY. I just want you to remember that just because your OSL and your Dean Lassonde stopped loving each other, doesn't mean they stopped loving you. And I want you to know--listen carefully, ok, buddy?--I want you to know that I'm not trying to replace your Dean Lassonde. I'm just the lucky administrator who's going to spend the rest of her life with your OSL, because we are a grown-up and a bureaucratic division who love each other very much.
 
You have to understand, your OSL was very disappointed with your Dean Lassonde when he gave you placemats explaining how to discuss Syria at Thanksgiving. And your OSL has had a very rough time lately, what with that short-term relationship with its friend, "Tommy D." But I promise you, that scary man is gone, because I'm going to take care of your OSL and love it for the rest of my life.
 
Oh, and I almost forgot: I used to be in a relationship, too, with the Office for Student Affairs at BC. And we raised some wonderful kids together, too. If you're in the Fly, you've probably even met some of the girls! But I promise, I will love each and every one of you just as much as my BC kids. Because we're family now, pal!
 
Oh, sure, you can call me Katherine! I know it'll take a while before you're comfortable saying "Dean O'Dair." But you know what? Let's have a catch some time. We really should get to know each other better.
 
Love you, kiddo!
 
Katherine G. O'Dair
Dean of Students
© 2016
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