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Country Clubs Face Challenges Following Trump Tariffs on Towels Imported from Turkey

Zac Efron reacts to the news.

LAVA SPRINGS — The Trump administration announced new tariffs on towels imported from Turkey today, leaving those wanting fabulous wanting more this summer. The move came as part of the White House’s continual trade war to support domestic manufacturing.

“The American people have had enough of sticking to the status quo,” White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement. “This really is the start of something new.”

The news was met with excitement on Wall Street. One investor described their textile-based portfolio as “Soaring! Flying!”

Around the nation, however, country clubs are bracing for the impact of the decision. Some in the industry are concerned about how they will tend to the demanding desires of their guests. Said one general manager, Mr. Fulton, “We have a lot of clients who just want more. What am I supposed to give them now? A Tiffany hair band?”

At Fulton’s club, Lava Springs, angst seemed to reach the employees. One young caddy danced angrily on the golf course.

Good news for Fulton arrived when the White House announced an expansion of the H-2B visa program allowing foreigners temporary work permits in hospitality-related industries. Fulton conceded, “At least we’ll still have our lifeguards imported from Spain.”

Image credit: Clevver

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