WASHINGTON — Whoops! According to reports, the United States Secret Service just lost President Barack Obama.

What a total brain fart! It looks like President Obama went missing after last night's rally for Hillary Clinton in Philadelphia. He hasn't been seen since!

"We seem to have misplaced President Obama," said Director of the Secret Service Joseph Clancy. "No need to worry, though. I'm sure he'll turn up soon...hopefully."

¡Ay, caramba! This is quite a doozy!

"Yeah, I'm not sure how to parse this one," said Speaker of the House Paul Ryan. "With any luck he'll turn up tomorrow."

Yikes! Even Paul Ryan doesn't know!

"We've checked several other dimensions, and Iowa, and we haven't found him yet. 

We'll keep searching," said Secretary of Defense Ash Carter. "Please forget that thing about the other dimensions."

Other dimensions? Jeez Louise, this might be getting out of hand!

"I'm prepared to take over if that's what's supposed to happen," said Vice President Joe Biden. "To be honest I haven't read the Constitution. Should that have already happened?"

Zoinks! This is shaping up to be a game-changer.

If you find anything between your couch cushions or see any Barack Obama-shaped holes in the fabric of space-time, be sure to let the Secret Service know!