and entering

Area Nun Just Can’t Break the Habit

nuns, puns,

BOSTON, MA — Sister Margaret, a local nun, just can’t break the habit. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t bring myself to rip this thing in half,” said Sister Margaret, as she tried and failed to tear up her traditional head covering.

Sister Margaret has long attempted to break the habit. She wanted to destroy it years ago, but her habit proved too compelling. She once wore a Benedictine replacement patch in hopes of finally kicking her habit to the curb. But every time she gets close to shredding her black-and-white garb, she goes crawling back to her old habit.

Her grandmother had the habit, too. “It’s right up our abbey,” Sister Margaret explained. “You know what they say—mo nastic, mo problems.”

“We’re worried about her,” said Mother Beatrice. “It’s a lot of monk-ey business, if you ask me. We’re thinking about staging an interconvention. I have to draw the Ursuline somewhere.”

Sister Catherine added, “Sometimes I see her sneaking up to the rooftop and returning to her habit late at night. She tells me she’s just getting fresh air. Liar, liar, pants on friar—I can smell that habit from a mile away.” 

Sister Margaret is also addicted to cigarettes.

© 2017