After a five-month captivity in a Wellesley POW camp, Joe Mazur has returned to Satire V’s sweet embrace.

“I’m so cold,” said Mazur, shivering in Satire V’s arms.  “But I…I never stopped thinking about you.”

Mazur, who disappeared on the Wellesley campus after a series of happy accidents, was held at an unknown location for many months, forcing him to miss Satire V meeting after Satire V meeting.

After killing literally a bus-full of Wellesley armed guards, Mazur traversed the 40 miles back to Harvard barefoot, subsisting solely on airplane peanuts and the music in his heart. 

“The glass in my feet may be broken but my heart isn’t,” said Mazur, who then promised never to miss another Satire V meeting again.