and entering

Pick A Fabulous Fall Drink And We'll Tell You Your Deepest Darkest Fear!

fall drinks
What drink and crippling fear combination are you?

Are you more of an espresso fellow or a vanilla chai guy? Choose one of these fun, festive fall drinks and we’ll tell you what that says about your innermost insecurities, you vulnerable little coward!

  1. Vanilla Chai Latte

  2. Spiced Hard Apple Cider

  3. Brown Sugar Espresso

  4. Cinnamon Hot Chocolate

  5. Pumpkin Spice Milkshake 

If you picked…

a: Like a vanilla chai latte, you’re sweet, a little basic, and have a crushing fear of rejection! You can’t stand the thought of being left out or hated by anyone, so you resort to conforming to the masses to fit in. You feel like an impostor and a stranger even when you’re with the people you call friends, but you laugh it all off anyway because it’s so much worse to be alone! Big mood!

b: Do you love apples, cinnamon, and drinking your inhibitions away to feel anything, anything, other than crippling self-doubt? Trust us, we totally get you! From just your favorite fall drink, we can tell that you fear failure. Every mistake is another blow to your inflated self-expectations and raging superiority-inferiority complex. You were supposed to be good at things, weren’t you? But then it all went downhill after your emotionally-scarring 7th grade piano recital! Don’t worry, we know!

c: We can smell your fear from miles away! You fear mortality. Nothing is permanent, and you absolutely abhor that with every fiber of your fragile being! Try as you might, your actions will be fruitless because we’ll all be gone in the end anyway. Who are you? What are you doing? What’s the point of life if a man in a weird hat could run you over with his convertible today? It do be like that sometimes!

d: Your ideal autumn beverage totally screams that you fear pain, trust, and the cruelty of this mortal plane! You’re basically allergic to commitment: it’ll all end in ruins anyway, just like your relationship with Kris! Feelings? Who needs those when all that means is hurting inside, also because of that fucker Kris! As this quiz can tell with 100% certainty, every night you cry yourself to sleep hoping that you can just become one with the void instead of facing another day. Oof!

e: Geese.

© 2019