1. When Andrew was interviewed on Chris' show on CNN, and Chris said "I love you, I'm proud of what you're doing and how hard you're working, but no matter how hard you're working, there's always time to call Mom, she wants to hear from you":
A: This was clearly erotically charged. The banter between these two brothers amidst a national emergency and a time of extreme strife for all Americans is the relief that no one asked for but we all need. Their partnership suggests spontaneity - they are able to keep each other engaged and having fun after 49 years of their relationship.
B: I've been inside for 23 days straight. Today at breakfast the Quaker Oats Quaker winked at me.
2. And then, when Andrew said, "I called mom just before I came on this show. By the way, she said I was her favorite. Good news is she said you are her second favorite. Second favorite son, Christopher.":
A: This assertion of dominance by the older Cuomo brother is tantalizing and provocative. This is no longer talking about Chris, this is about Christopher. The way Andrew took command of Chris' raillery and turned it back around is not only metaphoric of his command over the COVID-19 crisis in the state of New York, but also clearly indicative of his personal character and stature.
B: The Duolingo owl was beckoning me over today. "Come back to me", he said.
3. AND THEN, when Chris Cuomo tested positive for coronavirus, and Andrew tweeted in response to say "You are a sweet, beautiful guy and my best friend. If anyone is #NewYorkTough it’s you":
A: The raw visceral emotion in this tweet, the vulnerability and strength, and cold-hard courage, is evocative and erotic. For someone in a usually dominant position to demonstrate this level of unshieldedness and powerlessness in the wake of someone they love is magnetizing and captivating.
B: I am craving human touch.
If you got all A's: Yes, this, OF COURSE banter is erotically charged. When something sensual and emotional and beautiful is in front of you, there's no denying it. This is pure, unfiltered love, goddammit.
If you got all B's: You have been inside for too long. What the hell is wrong with you? These are just two politicians. And they're BROTHERS. Get out of here with your fetishes and your fanfiction.
© 2020
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