Guys can be so difficult to figure out sometimes. I mean, really, do you want to go on another date or do you want to suck out my life force? Will you be my beau, or are you just going to keep shouting “boooo?” Luckily, this quiz is here to help you figure out if that guy you’ve been seeing is ghosting you or if he’s just… an actual ghost.
When’s the last time you saw him?
A) Yesterday in the dining hall, and he avoided my eye contact…
B) Right now, floating in the corner of my room, directly locking eyes with me while I try to sleep.
What’s the last text he sent you?
A) “Hey thanks for the date, I had a great time!”
B) “RELINQUISH UNTO ME YOUR PATHETIC CORPOREAL FORM.”
What’s the last thing you said in response?
A) “Me too! How about we hang out again next Saturday?”
B) *horrified whimpering and sobbing*
And how long has it been since you last heard from him?
A) Five whole days! What should I do?
B) Five seconds. It’s still happening. Please send help.
He is…
A) Deathly pale and emotionally unavailable, just like I like ‘em!
B) Deathly pale and emotionally unavailable, because he’s the undead residue of a human soul trapped on Earth.
Whenever he and you were together, it always felt like…
A) He only wanted to get inside my pants.
B) He only wanted to get inside my mortal body and possess me like a demented flesh puppet.
When you really think about it, he is…
A) A complete douchebag, I can see right through him.
B) Literally translucent, I can see right through him.
Mostly As: Yikes, that’s rough… you’re being ghosted. The best thing you can do is put this behind you and never look back!
Mostly Bs: Oof, what a bummer… you’re being haunted by a malevolent, probably murderous spirit! He’s literally right behind you. Don’t ever stop looking back.
© 2019
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