Just like in human life, the realm of Sims is a continuous test of shmalaklo (good) and jibjeeb (bad) choices. Sure, you can guide your character’s personality traits and daily lives to shape who they are, but what do your decisions in this EA game say about you? Take the quiz below to find out!
1. How much time do you spend editing the physical appearance of your Sim?
A. Not for too long! Sometimes I randomize the Sim :)
B. I spend half a day on one person. I will not rest until it looks like a Facetuned picture of Kylie Jenner. I press back and forth between different formalwear outfits eighty-four times. It is protocol for my Sim to undergo intensive rhinoplasty.
2. What is your method for naming your Sim?
A. Usually I combine names of people I know, or give them my first name and my crush’s last name (LOL).
B. The same criteria necessary for a “Strong Password” on a website membership sign-up.
3. What is your Sim Family’s primary means of household income?
A. I make sure the parents get to their corporate jobs early every day, and take any opportunity for promotion.
B. Ctrl + Shift + C “motherlode” (53 times in a row)
4. How do you treat your Sim when she is pregnant?
A. I like to nurture her, so the baby may develop optimally. I keep the mother’s Hunger, Bladder, Energy, Social, Hygiene, and Fun bars in green.
B. I fast-forward the game at the highest speed despite blatant complications (passing out of fatigue, defecating herself, letting food rot in the kitchen, radiating stink lines) just so I can get to the birth and see if the baby is ugly.
5. What is the best mod you have ever downloaded to enhance your game experience?
A. Hmmm, probably either the Animal Hospital or the skeeball machine.
B. The one that let my Sim smoke crack.
6. Do you routinely murder your Sim(s)?
A. What? No! You can do that?!
B. I get pleasure out of putting my Sim in a pool then pausing the game to build concrete walls around it and get rid of the ladder. Better yet, I alternatively start a fire near my Sim in a small room then remove any door that could provide escape. For the Sims I [rarely] allow to reach elderly status, I make them WooHoo to the point of myocardial infarction. I then make the deceased WooHoo the Grim Reaper and try to kill him.
Mostly As: Yay! It seems like you are getting a lot out of the game and your digital habits of compassion, multi-tasking, and success strategies will translate into your personal experiences. If you were The Creator in real life, the world would be a better place!
Mostly Bs: Dear god, you monster! It appears you have no concept of respect or empathy. You are a danger to human society and are void of any ethical consciousness—I wouldn’t even let you keep a goldfish! You know what...there is a very good chance you are actually one of JonBenet Ramsey’s parents. Please seek help.
Image credit: EA Games
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