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Satire V's Advice for Summer Internships

Teamwork is important, but not as important as having an affair with the managing partner.
  1. Update your resume. We're sure you accomplished a lot in your latest stint in jail.
  2. Try new things. Don't bother with the protocol for handling nuclear waste, just go for it.
  3. Sexual harassment rules can be confusing. Test the boundaries to find out exactly what's okay.
  4. Park in the handicapped spot. Those people could use the exercise anyway.
  5. Don't forget to write thank you notes. It won't make the lawsuit go away, but it will give you a warm cozy feeling.
  6. Used up all your sick days? Ever heard of bomb threats?
  7. Become an entrepreneur. Set up your own drug lab and you can be your own boss.
  8. Don't forget to put the finishing touches on your documents. One word: glitter.
  9. Dress for success. Spandex is for casual Fridays only.
  10. Don't like walking to your car alone? Steal from the company, and the security guards will provide a personal escort.
© 2009