The world of flavored condoms was rocked yesterday as Trojan
released a secret flavor long in development. The new ""penis flavored"" condoms
come at the head of extensive scientific research into men's nether regions.
Said the Trojan design team, ""Women nowadays want something raw and virile.
Something potent. Cherry and citrus-flavored condoms are too weak for adequate
arousal. By contrast, the penis-flavored condom will usher in a new era of
sexual pleasure. Society returns to its roots.""
The new condom has a unique mix of masculine odors clinically proven to
heighten arousal in both partners. The aromatic compound consisting of musk,
stale urine, man-taint, and week-old dingleberries elicits neuronal interactions
corresponding to human orgasms. ""It's almost like I'm blowing my boyfriend
without the condoms on!"" said one bodacious babe.
However, because Trojan""™s new additional mimics the stench of
manmeat so closely, undue pregnancies have increased nationwide. Partners
assuming they were protected in fact were, in fact, barebacking in the sack.
Trojan has refused to pay reparations, citing the negligence and ancient Trojan
law.