Have you been wondering just where your keys ended up since you last saw them? Are they wildly more attractive than the last time you saw them? Did they get a lot rustier? Have they done, like, anything in the meantime?

 

My keys have been absent from my life for the past six hours. I've been unable to leave my home. Where are they now?

 

1. The bedside table? 

Nope, not there.

2. The kitchen? 
I did have them when I grabbed a drink from the fridge...but they’re not there. 

3. The car? 
Hmm, nothing there either. 

4. The key rack? 
I already checked the key rack, asshole.

5. Pocket? 
What kind of dumbass wouldn't look there first? I checked my pockets 20 minutes ago, of course they’re not...well shit.

 

Stay tuned for Where Are They Now (My Glasses) and Where Are They Now (Every Single Sheet of Notes I Took This Semester in My No-Laptops Class).