and entering

Area Comedy God Cites Sex as Reason for Payment on Venmo

Thumbs up guy
Remember this face. You'll be seeing Andy on the big screen one day.

BOSTON, MA—This week local comedian Andy Romano cited sex as the reason for his payment to Will Brady on Venmo. Though in reality Romano was paying Brady back for an uber ride and ahi tuna poke bowl, he saw the perfect opportunity to be absolutely fucking hilarious. 


When asked about the origin of his joke, Romano humbly replied, “Sometimes you get lucky and a brilliant idea just strikes,” continuing, “People pay for sex in prostitution and stuff, so the joke is, like, a parody of that.” He is reportedly the first person to make this joke in the history of Venmo and the world. 


Patricia Werner, one of Andy’s friends, was initially startled when she saw the transaction. “At first I was like, ‘Are Andy and Will being gay with each other?,’ but then I was like, ‘That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen,’” she said. Sources claim Werner laughed so hard both of her lungs collapsed.


Executives at Venmo were reportedly also blown away. CEO Bill Ready stated, “I could never have imagined Venmo as an entertainment platform,” adding, “Netflix better watch out.” A software engineer in user experience said the joke made his work feel “meaningful.” 


The joke caught the attention of some of the biggest names in comedy. Stephen Colbert admitted he found Romano’s joke so good he was thrown into a period of self-doubt and, “almost quit comedy,” but eventually concluded, “There’s room for more than one at the top.”

© 2018