SatireV

Breaking

and entering

English10 Student Read Too Much Fanfiction to Study Serious Literature Written in the Second Person

A beautiful, mysterious girl with long blond locks and piercing eyes– YOU.

CAMBRIDGE, MA- On Monday, a reporter visited the dorm of Yura Naim (Y/N), an English 10 student refusing to read any literature on the course syllabus that was written in the second person.

 

Y/N's bright blue orbs were filled with emotion as she voiced her complaints, "It's like they have no respect for the boundaries between academic and personal life." Y/N's golden locks, thrown up in a messy bun, trembled as she spoke. "I want to read this stuff between 1 and 4am, under my blankets, with my phone on the lowest possible brightness. Not on my laptop in the middle of a crowded lecture hall!" Y/N further lamented, “it really makes me question the academic credibility of this course and institution. I mean, with this kind of language this class might as well be a college AU!”

 

In response to Y/N's angrily worded letter voicing these opinions (written on the inside cover of her favorite book, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban), English 10 professor Tracy Smith responded, "What?"

 

Y/N's academic anxieties are only the latest in a slew of troubles in her personal life. She has recently been dealing with feelings of social isolation from her peers, but that’s probably just because she’s just, like, totally not like other girls. According to an inside source, Y/N is also dealing with the messy aftermath of her mom selling her to famous boy band, One Direction.

© 2022
Category: