and entering

Harvard Fencing Team Suffers Piercing Defeat

The Crimson found themselves foiled again this week against Brown.

CAMBRIDGE, MA — After a piercing defeat by Brown, the Harvard fencing team has been foiled once again in what has become a season a(bout) accepting defeat. Though the year started off with a decisive blow against Cornell, Harvard had no time to sabre the victory, quickly losing to Columbia, Duke, and Yale, making their aspirations for an Ivy Championship a feint hope. 

“We’re pretty piste off, honestly,” remarked team captain Kim Pale '17. “We took a good stab at it, but after all the work we put in we came out looking pretty lamé.”

Other members of the team also appear wounded by the loss. “It’s a touché subject with Kim,” said Connor Perry '19. “Sheath ought we had a chance to go all the way this year. She told us to thrust in our training, but I guess having another team there in the fleche got our knickers in a twist.”

“We were stripped of our dignity,” fumes Pale, no stranger to dreams being hilted all too soon. Her college sports career sword playing for the varsity soccer team, till her goals were cut short by a shoulder blade injury. Now that the fencing team’s season is over, her lofty ambitions seem scabbard in the wind.

“It’s not our first or second intention to quit,” promises Perry. “We’ll be practicing at our training facilities en Garden Street, re-treating our injuries, and getting ready for next year.”

“One thing’s for sure,” warns Pale. “They’re gonna épée for it.”

© 2017