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Harvard Republican Club Endorses Stern Finger Wagging in 2020

A Harvard Republican Club alum sternly wags his finger.
CAMBRIDGE, MA – In an early endorsement, the Harvard Republican Club announced today that it will be supporting a "stern finger wagging" in a 2020 GOP primary challenge to incumbent President Donald Trump.
The club made headlines last year when it refused to endorse Trump's presidential candidacy. This time around, its opposition to Trump has manifested itself in a sharp wag of the finger in the President's direction.
"While we agree with President Trump on issues like improving national security, cutting government spending, rolling back regulations, repealing Obamacare, halting abortion, ousting Assad in Syria, screening incoming refugees, and a number of other issues," said Republican Club president Gregory T. Jacksonworth IV '18, "we cannot tolerate this kind of behavior. No, sir. I say no!"
Some Republican members who supported John Kasich in the 2016 GOP primary have expressed their belief that a stern finger wagging better represents true conservative values. "Unseating a sitting President is a difficult task, and I don't think Kasich is up for it," said Taylor C. Zacharias '19. "That's why I'm throwing my support behind a stern finger wagging. To me, it encapsulates the spirit of 'Now, now, hold on just a minute.'"
Although Trump has denounced the Republican Club as "total cucks" on Twitter, the club's spokesperson responded with a statement that reads, "Mr. President, you must adhere to the values of Burkean conservatism. Ronald Reagan would be ashamed of your behavior."
At press time, polls showed "stern finger wagging" trailing by 87 points.
© 2017