edX, the revolutionary open-source online education program offered by Harvard, MIT, Stanford, and every other university with more than three computers, recently revealed that its course “Flight Vehicle Aerodynamics” would be blocked to students in Cuba, Iran, and Sudan.

“I’m really disappointed,” said a young man in Khartoum. “I wanted to use the advanced physics to up my paper airplane game; I quit my day job as a terrorist to make time for this class, but now I have to enroll in ‘Primitive Navigation.’ It’ll be a challenge to measure the angle between myself and the steeple of Memorial Church from Sudan, but I know that, through such tasks, I will finally master the requisite understanding of the Science of the Physical Universe.”

Similar situations have occurred in the other restricted countries, though there has been one reported instance of one Cuban terrorist decrying the fact that now he’ll have to go to the second page of his Google search to find the information he needs on the incompressible aerodynamics of subsonic flow.

Other forthcoming geographic restrictions on edX courses include banning all residents of New Mexico from taking any synthetic organic chemistry courses and forbidding Russian nationals from History 1405X – “Strategic Concerns Invading Eastern Europe: A 21st Century Perspective.”