and entering

HUDS Boldly Adds Brown Rice To Dining Hall Menu

As students trickled into the dining
halls yesterday afternoon, many felt a change in the atmosphere. Several students described a sort of energy that they normally felt on days reserved for quesadillas and Udon noodles. They soon discovered the cause of their expectant
nerves: steaming pots of brown rice.

With its mild nutty flavor and superior
nutritional content, brown rice is a legend among the whole grains. A 100 gram portion of the brown rice packs a stunning 72.96 grams of water,
23.51 grams of carbohydrates, and 2.32 grams of protein. That is nearly 5 more grams of water than a typical portion of white rice, which is especially
important if one were to hydrate himself solely by sucking water from rice grains.

"The people have spoken. They want brown rice, and they want it now," said HUDS General Manager Frank Peebles. "HUDS will give the people their brown rice, like George Washington gave America cherry trees and a little concept we like to call 'Freedom.'"

The brown rice was introduced to dining halls yesterday afternoon. Dining
hall staff took out their rice cookers
and plugged in the extension cords, adding water to the fill line. After 45 minutes the staff took out the burlap bags of brown rice and gently emptied them into the cookers, up to the second
fill line. Deep inside the otherwise staid rice cookers, a miracle was being born.

Once hungry students caught sight or scent of the bowls, forks and trays clattered to the floor as an impromptu mass gathered around the steaming pots. Some would later describe the incident as "eerily religious."

"Allow us to play God with your tongue," said Peebles.

Having invested several million dollars in fair-trade locally-grown brown rice from a family owned dairy farm in Worcester, Massachusetts, HUDS has no choice but to serve brown rice for the next several years. They hope it will become as beloved a part of the dining hall menu as the eighteen varieties of squash that they serve from the cold winter months of October through May.

"Once that first hit of brown rice reaches your tummy, you will be addicted," said Pebbles. You will want more of that yummy in your tummy."

© 2008