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HUPD Community Advisory: Dumbass Mugged

On Saturday, November 8th, 2008 a female student reported to the Cambridge Police Department that she was the victim of an unarmed robbery in the Cambridge Commons at approximately 1:00 AM.

The victim was walking alone, listening to an iPod, text messaging on a cellular phone, and counting her money, when a group of three unidentified males shoved the victim to the ground and proceeded to rob the victim of her phone, iPod, money, expensive boots, and multiple pieces of expensive jewelry she had been displaying prominently. The victim,
who wishes to remain anonymous, remembers seeing them just prior to the incident: "I saw some random guys with baseball bats walking behind me and they kept on walking faster and faster. But then I got a new text so I was just like, whatever. And I couldn't see my cell phone screen "'cause of the glare from the street lights, so I like decided to just walk in the dark area of the field."

When asked how future incidents such as this might be prevented, HUPD officer Robert Stevens advised students "not to be so fucking stupid". He added, "Incidents such as this are especially common among dumbasses. Basically, just don't be a dumbass and you should be OK." The officer was unable to be reached for further questioning, as he had to hurry to question an innocent-looking black male in Harvard Yard.

The suspect has been described as male/female, around 5 to 6 feet tall, with light to darkish complexion. Any persons resembling the above should be treated with extreme caution and should be reported to the police immediately.
© 2008