and entering

It’s Great that HUPD’s Urgent Line is Down and HUHS is Closed Because I’ve Always Wanted to Experience the Purge

the purge
Let The Purge commence.

CAMBRIDGE, MA- It’s finally happening. Harvard is descending into a state of lawlessness like we’ve never seen before. Sure, we’ve challenged a few authorities, removed some house deans, and protested against President Bacow. But all of these courses of action fall squarely in the realm of civil disobedience. Key word: civil.  

Finally, this semester, the institutions responsible for our daily well-being are starting to crumble. The disintegration of crucial social and civil infrastructure brings with it the chance that I may experience the one and only thing I have ever wanted to experience: The Purge. 

Within our campus limits, we can now create a haven for misfortune and chaos, destruction and entropy. Within these walls, Cambridge Police and Mt. Auburn cannot reach us in time to end our rampage. Fall down the stairs at 3am? No one to call- except an overnight nurse in another state who will coax you through the process of recovery, likely resulting in further injury due to gross incompetence. Have your bike stolen? No one to assist--except some helpful bystanders to chase down the perpetrator and handle them on your own terms, like a team.  

What better way to learn real-life skills, like how to tie a tourniquet, bribe your way out of financial trouble, suture a wound, resolve conflicts between two men standing on the bar wielding broken beer bottles, than when under immense pressure to preserve your own life? Harvard could provide us with no greater gift. 

With that, let The Purge commence.

© 2019