and entering

Junior Too Embarrassed to Ask For Directions, Misses Midterm

"That's gotta be Holden Chapel, right?"

Peter Farmington, a junior in Lowell House, missed his midterm last Thursday after failing to locate Emerson Hall. Farmington, who is concentrating in mechanical engineering, explained that he failed to look up the building prior to leaving his room. When he reached the Yard, he panicked, realizing that he did know know which one was Emerson Hall. “I had a class or two in Sever freshman year,” said Farmington, “but other than that I spend most of my time in Pierce Hall in the dead of night, like all Mechanical Engineers. When I got to that big building with all the wide steps, I was stumped.”

 Peter considered asking for directions, but couldn’t bare the idea of anyone thinking he was "some dumb tourist, or worse, a freshman”. Sources close to the student say that he wandered in and out of several buildings which they later determined to be Harvard Hall, University Hall, and Memorial Church, before deciding, to “fuck it and go to Panera.” At Panera, he ordered soup in a bread bowl and contemplated asking the checkout girl for her number, before spilling some soup on himself and deciding against it. Farmington insists that he did not regret his decision, as no one actually cares about Culture and Belief. Plus he is confident he will “kill it” on the minimum of four other midterms that the professor obviously must have forgotten to list on the syllabus.

© 2013