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Kid just going to leave beer on Wire Mesh Basket

Our photojournalist insists she was not drunk when this purported incident of the image was taken.

Rapidly descending the stairs of Winthrop’s H entryway Saturday night, Evan Dorsett ’16 announced his plans to desert a half-full can of Natural Light beer in the wire mesh basket on the door of Winthrop H54.

“There are strict regulations against carrying open containers of alcohol in public, which is where I will be when I exit the building and walk onto Mill Street, and therefore I have decided I will abandon this can of beer inside, where conveniently there is a door basket for me to lean it on top of,” he said.

Dorsett had been observed exiting a pregame location and glancing around momentarily, while moving the beer left, right, to his mouth, and left again in search of a resting place for the can.

“I do not intend to finish drinking this beer, as it is now quite warm and there will be cold beer at my next location. As a result, I will balance this beer on top of this wire basket, and leave it there,” Dorsett explained.

Onlookers commended Dorsett’s plan of action for disposing of the remaining six ounces of lager stagnating inside the metal can.

“It is a sound and logical decision to leave that beer resting on top of the metal frame of, um, let me see what it says… Jake and Theo’s door basket, and I intend to do the same with my unfinished beer when I get to the third floor after this next set of stairs,” said Mac Geller ’16.

Winthrop House Eco-Reps also joined in praising the decision.

“There appear to many other recyclable items in the wire mesh door basket, and as Cambridge is now a single-stream recycler, it is a commendable choice to leave that can of beer alongside many other recyclable items people no longer want, including those five copies of the Harvard Lampoon,” said eco-rep Sarah Meyer ’15.

As of press time early Sunday morning, reports indicate that the fifth-floor landing of Winthrop H-entry was caked in a sticky substance and a single can of Natural Light laid in the hallway.

© 2014
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