In the wake of the scouting report scandal surrounding the Harvard Men's soccer and cross-country teams, Satire V has obtained yet another scouting report, this time from the men's basketball team. We have reproduced an except below:
Initials: K.R.
Position: Guard
Strengths: Very vocal, natural leader on the floor; good distribution
Weaknesses: Tendency to force a shot
Initials: E.W.
Position: Forward
Strengths: Boxes out; impressive vertical
Weaknesses: Recurrent injury issues; not strongest dribbler
Initials: S. B.
Position: Forward
Strengths: Speed; Strong shooter
Weaknesses: Could improve rebounding
Initials: R. T.
Position: Guard
Strengths: Great one-on-one defender; good distance shooter
Weaknesses: Doesn't drive to the basket often
Overall, looking like a great recruiting class!
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