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Science Center Bathroom Declared As Harvard’s Second Most-Popular Tourist Destination

Tourists head to the Science Center bathroom.

Cambridge, MA – In its annual report, the Harvard Admissions Office announced that the Science Center bathroom has officially become the second most popular tourist destination at Harvard, citing “high demand” and “visible relief” as top reasons for the shift in rankings.

After years of students directing rogue tourists to this historic landmark, head tour guide Bob Billings ‘17 decided to add the site as a stop on the official tour. “In the bathroom, tourists get a chance to sit in the seats of Harvard students and take in the sights and the smells of life here!” he said. “We head over there right after we see John Harvard. It’s a great place to wash off.” 

This shift in rankings comes as no surprise. Jenny Jenson ’17 told Satire V, “the Science Center bathroom really represents many of the main tenets of Harvard. It brings such a diverse group of people together, despite their interests or beliefs. We really take pride in creating an inclusive social space - all are welcome here!”

At press time, Drew Faust, Harvard's president, was heard endorsing the rising importance of the bathroom, citing the need for students to “take a load off.”



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