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Tasty Pudding Institute Announces Merger Between Pudding, Tasty Burger

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CAMBRIDGE, MA- In a surprise press conference, Grand Sphinx Andrew Farkas announced yesterday that The Hasty Pudding Institute of 1770 has acquired Harvard Square late night eatery Tasty Burger. The new organization will be officially named The Tasty Pudding Institute of 1770, Home of the Big Tasty.

 “I realized that the one form of performance art that we were missing was culinary excellence,” said Farkas in front of a crowd of one Crimson and one Harvard Independent reporter. “Following the 2012 merger of Hasty Pudding Theatricals, the Krokodiloes, and The Hasty Pudding Club, we already had the other three covered. Drag theater, a capella, and displays of wealth.”

Tasty Burger will not be without changes following the merger. Farkas said that the new menu will be based around “hot dogs dressed up as hamburgers,” and that only men dressed in drag can work the counters while all female workers will have to be behind the scenes.

The merger, which had been rumored for months, reportedly came at a sum of $8.2 million. Tasty Burger fry cook Carol Owens told a SatireV journalist that she planned to purchase “a modest sized yacht” after selling her recently acquired shares in Island Capital Group, Farkas’s real estate firm.

Tasty Burger’s grand opening will coincide with Hasty Pudding’s famed “Woman of the Year” parade in January. This year’s guest, Michelle Obama will be honored and challenged to eat three “All the Ways,” Tasty Burger’s notorious $12 sandwich containing a burger, hot dogs, chili, and melted cheese.

© 2014