Dear Harvard College Students,

 

In the days before you return to campus to begin another academic year, I was going to write to share some thoughts with you about the coming year and to ask for your help in warmly welcoming the Class of 2020 to our beloved community.

 

But all of that can wait. First, I really need all of you to help me find the remote control for the TV in my living room. 

 

As I write this letter, the Yard- and of course the entire Harvard College campus- is showing signs of excitement as we welcome our newest class to campus. But I have not been sharing in this excitement. Instead, I have been searching for the remote for seven goddamn hours. Seven. I turned over every single couch cushion and examined every conceivable crevice of my home. I looked up and down all of Cabot house, and rode the dining hall tray conveyor belt- twice- to no avail. I even asked a squirrel in Harvard Yard, but she hasn't seen it either.

 

Things are starting to get serious. I DVR'd the Olympics Closing Ceremony and have been unable to watch it for a week now. And as we're getting ready to embark on a new academic year, how can I be expected to fulfill the sacred duties of the office of Dean of Harvard College if I haven't seen this week's episode of Mr. Robot?!

 

That's why I need your help. If you use social media, please consider tagging your posts #FindRakeshsRemote or #HelpRakeshWatchMrRobot. Starting this week, you will begin to receive weekly updates on my search for the remote in your email inbox. If you see or hear anything, please respond to one of those emails. It's not an automated message- I am personally crafting every single email to ensure that you are receiving up-to-date information.

 

Harvard College has a long and lauded history as an institution that produces engaged citizens and citizen-leaders for our society. Your impact on your community and society begins here, and it begins with helping me find the remote. So please, I'm begging you, help me. My TV is stuck on TruTV and if I have to watch another episode of Impractical Jokers I just might end it all.

 

Warmly,

Dean Khurana