and entering

Weld Resident Suffers Senseless Eye Contact with Former Blockmate

The scene of the crime.

 CAMBRIDGE, MA – At 11:43 last night, tragedy struck the Weld community when, out of nowhere, resident Alicia Cantor was assaulted by the piercing gaze of fellow freshman Abigail Bradley, who was awkwardly boxed out of Cantor’s blocking group just two weeks before. Despite her best efforts to flee the scene, Cantor remained locked in a stone-cold stare with Bradley for a full four seconds, which Cantor described as “the most painful of [her] entire life.”

Thankfully, Cantor came away from the incident “mostly just shaken." However, she says the image of Bradley’s judgmental face is burned into her memory: “It’s going to haunt me for a while.”

After investigating the event, HUPD officers concluded that the unfortunate eye contact was a “freak accident,” explaining that Abigail, a Matthews resident, was normally never around Weld that late at night, especially since splitting from Cantor’s group.

“No one could have seen this coming—I mean she lives across the yard for god’s sake!" commented Officer Mike Richards. "I’m just glad Alicia was the only block member around at the time. It could have been a bloodbath."

At press time, Harvard administrators sent an email to all students with an official advisory to stay inside and avoid all social contact until the emotional wounds of blocking season have healed. 

© 2016