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Donald Trump is a Fat Lazy Slob And I am NOT

Why do doctors always talk about BMI if it's such a useless statistic? I'm really thinking doctors are wrong on this one.
Recently, reports indicate that presidential candidate Donald Trump’s weight and height place him into the “obese” category of the BMI scale. What a fat, lazy slob! Clearly this is just another piece of evidence that he is unfit to lead our nation, given that he is unfit, period. Trump’s BMI calculates out to 30.3, placing him just above the mark for obese, at 6’2” tall and, uh, 236 pounds…? Wait, I’m 240 pounds. Holy shit am I…? No….
Okay I’ve done some research and I want to make it ABUNDANTLY clear that BMI is NOT a scientifically backed system for measuring overall health, and muscle is actually heavier than fat, okay? It’s completely fine if you are 6’2” and weigh over 235 pounds AS LONG AS you maintain a healthy lifestyle and you have a low body fat percentage like me. Personally I like to maintain my healthy lifestyle by doing strenuous weight lifting exercises, every week that I remember to.
Donald Trump doesn’t do that - I bet Donald Trump barely ever exercises. I bet he thinks he has like the greatest body ever, right? You can tell just by looking at him. You know, what I’ve learned from studies I’m reading is there’s a spectrum of people with 30.3 BMI, and Donald Trump definitely strikes me as being on the obese end of that spectrum. Personally among people with my own BMI I’m pretty confident I’m in the top like five percent of fitness. Well, maybe athletes and blue collar workers are in that percentage. Well, I’m almost definitely in the top 20 percent. You know what? Let’s move on.
Donald Trump’s weight problem - because that’s what it is, a problem - simply reveals that he doesn’t have enough willpower. If he doesn’t have enough willpower to get himself down to a healthy weight range, how can he have enough willpower to get up and lead our country, every single day of the year? Just to be clear, I have lots of willpower. For instance, last week I walked up and down TWO flights of stairs to do laundry, even though I really didn’t want to.
As you can see, Donald Trump would be a bad president of the United States. But I am perfectly happy with my own body, Diane.

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