and entering

Hunter S. Thompson Speaks

As I was walking to breakfast one day with my roomate I tripped over something near one of the house entrances. "Perverts and communists getting in my way," I mumbled, but when I looked down to kick the hobo in the chest, I found instead a young man. It gave me pause, and I looked at him for a while before my roommate told me to hurry the hell along.
"This boy has been the victim of a conspiracy," I responded, to which he replied that he did not give a rat's ass. "You don't understand, you're not American, this is about America, the red white and blue!" As I walked off while my roommate started yelling at me in some garbled moon language I decided that I would never let this happen to any Harvard kid ever again. Here is my advice on the matter, take it.
Alcohol, Weed, Cocaine, Heroin
Are you above the age of 16? If you do not know what these are you are not trying hard enough. Go on, scoot!
Mushrooms, LSD
You roll through life like a coyote
through the desert plains of hell tearing ass as you sip juma-juma juice from a golden cup. A gigantic car, a roaring piece of the American dream is enveloped around you like a banana yellow metal condom. That is what I see, feel. I'm sweating an enormous amount, toxins erupting from my body and collecting in a pool around the leather seats of the vehicle. Bats pass around me and collapse writhing on the ground, victims of a poisonous aura that is the result of eight days of well whiskey. A star erupts in the distance and my eyes turn to jelly, I go temporarily blind. Moments later I hear the hellbat shriek and realize that I got a police car right behind me. I could chance it, but I'm in Reno and they use helicopters out here. One stop later, I see a mass of blubber and grey walk towards me, and bear my teeth. I lie, he doesn't buy it, I headbutt
the man, and three hours later the car is at the bottom of a ravine and I'm walking towards a casino with a broken nose.
Take psychedelics
on nice days, be positive to avoid a bad trip.
This crap will make you dance like a storm gerbil is stapled to your scrotum. You'll feel cosmic love, a great feeling. Walking down the road, hug the first person you see, first person to exist
by God's good grace. You'll see a woman and her daughter in the distance, you got your arms out, walking towards. The woman turns out to be blind in one eye and the daughter is a little boy in a leather jacket with ass length black hair. Moments later you see a toothless man selling painted Dunkin' Donuts cups and calling it "found art."
Remember to drink water.
Have you ever felt like your heart is going to explode, a ball of energy? Simultaneous, crunchy, So much energy your teeth fall out. If there was a ready supply, this would crush red bull to become Harvard's #1 drug of choice. Proof: you lose your teeth and never sleep.
Two stones with one bird and eight papers in one night.

© 2008